I will end up sticking the thing in my ear…

Yesterday I had a session with a hypnotist. I know it sounds a bit new age-y but I had a feeling this might work to help me quit smoking. Willpower wasn’t doing it for me — nothing really was dong it for me. The thing is I really want to quit smoking but I really like smoking, too.

What I don’t like is the fact that it will probably kill me.

So I was hypnotized. I really was — I could not lift my arms or open my eyes for a good part of the session. I was awake but in a weird place.

After my session I felt very strange and (surprisingly) I didn’t feel like smoking. I stepped outside and instead of lighting up I threw my pack away. I then went to get some herbal tea (yeah, that’s part of it).

The rest of the day I had no urge to smoke. In fact, when I saw smokers on the street I felt sorry for them.

By about 10:30 pm I was craving a cigarette — it was probably physical — but I ignored it.

This morning I really wanted to smoke. I figured this hypnosis business didn’t work. So I figured what the hell and I bought some cigarettes. I felt stupid but also relieved.

I had one right then and it was like I scratched an itch. It was over. I failed.

But no. Or at last maybe not.

About 10 am I wanted another one so I went outside. This time I was thinking about the hypnosis and what I learned.

I lit up and then I could not bend my arm towards me to inhale the thing. It was bizarre. I threw the thing down and stomped on it.

This happened again at 4:15 pm. I lit the cigarette and I could not bring myself to smoke it.

It’s now almost 10 pm and I kinda want a cigarette. Well I do and I don’t but I am not smoking. Not today.

I don’t plan to do it tomorrow either.

But something tells me if I try I will end up sticking the thing in my ear.

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