Author: Christine Elias

So I’m watching House Hunters and they’re in Chicago looking at condos.

Right now the perky couple is looking at a place with exposed brick, hardwood floors and high-end appliances. Not to mention the stunning bathrooms and huge walk in closet.

The place is 1300 square feet and is listed at $250,000.

Insane. Just insane.

You can get 430 square feet in my condo for about $250,000. Very young people in skinny jeans live in those units.

I’m not sure where I am going with this. I realize Toronto is an expensive city and we don’t have to live downtown. No one twisted our arms.

People do live — happily they claim — in Whitby and Vaughn.

Maybe I should just stop watching this godforsaken show. Or else move to Oshawa and shut the hell up.

There is an intersection on my daily route that has an advanced green for cars.

Every single day pedestrians start to cross when the light is still red for them. And every single day someone comes far too close to getting nailed.

It’s like they don’t understand the concept of this very useful piece of traffic engineering.

Then there are the morons who walk about one-third of the way into the road — stopping just outside the auto
turning circle — just to get a rather insignificant head start.

I don’t understand why people don’t get it and I feel it’s my duty to educate them so I’ve taken to yelling: “it’s an advance green you idiots,” as soon as the first yahoo steps off the curb.

That’s the real reason I wear a balaclava — I don’t want to be recognized.