This is not about weight. Sure, I could stand to lose perhaps 20 pounds — I have no illusions about this — but I am happy enough with my shape. Not bad at all for my age. Not fantastic either, but such is life. So no, this is not about weight. Not today, anyway.

It’s about pants. Pants I can never find.

Today I visited two Joe Fresh locations in search of a particular pair of black pants. Joe Fresh pants fit me well and I am in need of new black pants.

First location had many, many pairs of the pants in question — in size 0, 2 and 4. (I won’t get into the insaneness of size 0). There were a few pairs in size 8 and, I think, one size 10. None in size 12, 14 or 16. I am a size 14 — sometimes, depending on the pants — a size 12.

I was disappointed, but I knew the more suburban locations often have more selection. So I hit the subway and headed to Scarborough. I’ve had good luck at this location in the past. No today.

There was one size 12 in the brown version of the pants. They were too tight — and besides I wanted the black ones. The black pants were only available in the smallest sizes.

I talked to the teenaged salesperson. She told me the best day to come was either a Monday or Tuesday, when the new stock comes in. But she noted, very few of the bigger sizes even make it to the store. She told me they were lucky if they got in one pair of size 16. One pair!

She said they got a lot of complaints about this. No kidding. She also said that people often came in daily to see if the store had their size.

Of course, I understand why this is a good thing from a marketing perspective. People coming in often buy often. But I can’t (and won’t) hike out to the outer reaches of the city for pants — no matter how much I like them.

That’s it. That’s the story of my day. No pants.

Is it any wonder I prefer to shop online?