my two best friends

I have two best friends: coffee and something else I’m not proud of.

I’ve discovered that coffee is really an evil, manipulative friend — the kind you make in high school — you think they are cool but really they are just girls with low self-esteem and big teased 80s hair who want to tear you down to make themselves feel better. Well, okay not quite like that. But coffee is no friend of mine anymore.

I love coffee but the high acid content wreaks havoc with my insides.

So no more coffee until I’m feeling better.

As for the other friend. Well, it’s just like the evil girls from high school — and I really should ditch them and join the kids on the yearbook committee. They seem nice. A bit boring but nice.

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