Category: Life

The Grup inside me lives on…I am still very uneasy and slightly confused about just what it means to be an adult in these modern times. Today I went to a wedding shower and even my younger cousins seemed older than me. And the ladies (ladies!) my age all seemed so much older and conservative. My younger cousins seemed older and conservative too. It was just a bizarre Sunday afternoon. I felt like Pink among a sea of Macedonian folk singers.

Living downtown makes me suspect but I embraced that long ago. At least I knew what to wear and I arrived in nice Macedonian lady garb. My Capri pants revealed my tattoo but thankfully none of the ladies pointed it out — this time.

And then there’s the cheek pinching. One would think this would end by the time one’s approaching 40 but no such luck. My poor cheeks got pinched and pinched again. I imagine it’s good for the circulation at least.

It did not help that the event was deep in the suburbs and this made me feel even more uneasy. I did not have the comfort of buildings and noise all around me. There was no subway for miles and the buses run every hour up there. Way too much grass too.

But all in all it was a nice event. My cousin got tons of presents and she seemed very happy and radiant. I got to gossip with my aunt who always like to sit beside me and throw shade. She’s funny and fun. When I look in the mirror, I often see this aunt peering back at me — we have the same eyes and the same expressions. Mind you, she often refers to herself in the third person and I have not started to do that but I imagine there’s time yet.

Fun times in the suburbs.

After yesterday’s missive my friend Judy welcomed me to middle age. I am middle-aged and there’s no getting around it. I am ready. But I want to be a Grup please.

“If being a Grup means being 35, and having a job, and using a messenger bag instead of a briefcase, and staying out too late too often, and owning more pairs of sneakers (eleven) than suits (one), and downloading a Hot Hot Heat song from iTunes because it was on a playlist titled “Saturday Errands,” and generally being uneasy and slightly confused about just what it means to be an adult in these modern times—in short, if it means living your life in fundamentally the same way that you did when you were, say, 22—then, let’s face it, I’m a Grup. The people in the pictures accompanying this story? Grups. In fact, take a minute and look up from the magazine—if you’re in public, you’ll see them everywhere. If you’re in front of a mirror, you might see one there too.”

Yeah, I see one in the mirror. I have also have eleven pairs of sneakers and I do live my life the same way I did when I was 22.

Okay, I have more bills now and a mortgage but I don’t have many other adult responsibilities. And I like it that way. I do have a job, of course, but I had one when I was 22 as well so that’s no big change.

• ipod — check…
• jeans to work — not all the time but often…
• staying out late — sure, what do you have in mind?
• no briefcase — check but no messenger bag … I have a collection of backpacks
• uneasy and slightly confused about just what it means to be an adult in these modern times — you bet … I feel like I always have except now I have middle-aged maladies and a few wrinkles.

Okay. If this is the new middle age, I am ready.

Where’s the party? (Just let me get my wedge pillow and wrist braces if we will be staying overnight).