Category: Life

bookmark_borderCould be worse, right?

Posted on by Christine Elias

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.  ~ Fran Lebowitz

Well, it’s not that bad over here in real-life Elias.to land. Sure, I’m deliriously happy with how my life is going for the most part, but a string of bad luck can really get a gal down. Just this week, my refrigerator was deemed irreparable and my hearing aid cracked in my ear for the second time – yep, twice in less than a week.

And recently:

  1. I spilled vinegar on my floors – concrete floor polishing is not a DIY thing.
  2. Ouch tendonitis – no, I don’t play tennis.
  3. Ouch sunburn – being olive-complexioned does not mean one can save money on sunscreen.
  4. Two of my Swatch watches will never tell time again.
  5. My other hearing aid gave up the
  6. My two-year old washer/dryer sputtered to a quick death – luckily they sell more at Sears.
  7. ghost.
  8. I have a cough I can’t shake.

All pretty minor really, I know. My ailments will heal and what’s a job for but to make money to spend on things you need. (I do  prefer to spend money I things I want – and hope to return to that state of affairs in the near term.)

But hey, only 60 days until Autumn – things are looking up.

Could be worse, right? I don’t want my money back – I’d just like a few things to go on sale.

http://youtu.be/y1BDsyBa5o8

 

 

bookmark_borderAdvice for the savvy single…

Posted on by Christine Elias

Deliriously coupled as I am — Hi Honey! — I have no intention whatsoever of writing a personal ad. But I do think that many people could use some writing tips in this area.

So in the spirit of helpfulness, I submit an example of a new way to position yourself in the sea of singles online — the “Review Personal.”

My technique is a bit shorter than the dating profile tips in this excellent piece, but just as effective.

  1. Select a user name — for this example, I am Whoopie-Pie.
  2. Find a good photo of yourself. (You’re not supposed to use a group shot, but this was the best picture of myself that I had on hand. I know, I shouldn’t have used the shot with my friends…but I look so cute in it!)
  3. The next step is usually to write about yourself, but not in my method.
    No, instead get your friends to write some blurbs. Just email them and ask them for a little paragraph. After all, who knows you better than you peeps?

And with a bit of editing, you can have something like this!

AD TEXT:

→  I have worked with [redacted] for many years and she’s a pleasure to have around the office. Reliable, smart and efficient are the three words that best describe her. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend her as a romantic partner to any potential love interest. — Whoopie-Pie’s Manager

→  I remember the time [redacted] wore the craziest outfit one night. I can’t even fathom where she bought the pants — they were made up of some strange material that looked a lot like neoprene. We started off having drinks at a pub and somehow we ended up at The Matador. She ended up losing a shoe, but we had a heck of a lot of fun. [Redacted] is still a hell of a lot of fun, but she certainly dresses better now. — Whoopie-Pie’s Oldest Friend

→  Just date her for heaven’s sake. She’s funny and she’s not cheap. — One of Whoopie-Pie BFFs

You get the idea! How could this technique possibly not work?