Entertaining (about 3) readers since 1998…
I miss smoking so much.
If I could look into the future and see that I live to 85 — and that I die peacefully in my sleep of nothing more serious than being old — I would light up right this minute.
Conversely, if I could go back in time and visit myself at 14 or so, I’d kick myself in the ass and take away that pack of smokes (Benson & Hedges Menthol Lights in those days) in my pocket.
If I never started smoking I’d have nothing to miss.
And maybe I’d even be taller.
Today I cursed Jesus in S.’s basement.
Let me explain.
S. is my friend and she’s also my stylist. She has (quite a snazzy) salon in her home.
My hair is her work. My brows used to be her doing as well but I had to stop waxing when I started using a particular skin cream.
I found out you can’t wax when using Retinol the hard (lose some skin) way.
So I’ve been tweezing but it’s a pain in the ass.
But today S. showed me her new Braun Silk-epil Soft Perfection hair removal device and encouraged me to test it out on my arm.
I tried it and cursed Jesus. His mother, too. It was extremely painful.
(I think S. may have been a bit surprised by the string of expletives. She’s known me for many years but only a few of my friends have ever witnessed my potty mouth.)
Turns out the thing is especially a bitch on long hairs. I never thought the hairs on my arms were especially long but live and learn.
Great, now I have something new to obsess about.
Oh, if you’re curious, the device worked very well once I tried it on the shorter hairs on the insides of my elbows.