Category: Home Decor

For someone who doesn’t cook, I think a lot about kitchens.

I doubt I will ever have a Bulthaup or Poggenpohl kitchen.

In fact, if I don’t get my ass in action, I may not even escape the laminate flooring stage of my arrested decor development. But I want a new kitchen.

The depth of my desire for a new kitchen actually scares me.

I want something so sleek and sexy that I would regularly host glamorous fondue parties.

Something so special that I’d throw out all my Ajax and purchase lavish cleaning products. (Okay, maybe not, Ajax is the best! But I’d be very very careful not to scratch.)

If Bulthaup is a fantasy, Scavolini may well be a lucid dream.

I love the cream and brown:

The wood is also very appealing:

Exciting! But I have high blood pressure as it is:

Kitchen envy is not attractive and I am going to stop and think about what’s missing in my life.

Update:
Nothing’s missing. I feel fine. A bit feverish but fine.

Laminate flooring is not standing the test of time. I don’t know one person with this stuff who’s happy. I’m sure not.

It is just a picture of a wood pattern covered in some finish purported to be hard-wearing and stain resistant. Oh, this magical finish is also supposed to resist wear and repel moisture. This is not the case underfoot at my place. The floor is less than four years old and parts of it look dreadful. Strategically placed rugs are required.

In the kitchen some of the sections are swelling at the joints. Well, there is not much cooking going on and and I don’t spill stuff so I have no idea where any of this moisture is coming from. Maybe the last owner was a wild beverage spiller and the damage is just showing up now. Or perhaps I am sleeping walking and pouring water on the floor out of some misplaced anger isue.

And the gaps drive me nuts. The pieces seem to hate each other and are pulling apart in sections. I had to buy some laminate goop to fill in the spaces. You should not have to put goop on your floors to make them presentable. Goop should be removed from floors.

Other parts are just peeling. How on earth this stuff is considered hard wearing is beyond me. And I hate the fake look of the wood. It’s like wood flooring would look in a cartoon or drawn up in some computer livingroom rendering.

I really hate this stuff and I want to pull it all up and expose the concrete. Of course, it would need a nice buffing. That would be better. Hell, beige wall-to-wall carpet would be better. Who invented this stuff ? Probably the same guy that invented the ab roller.