a mess of mild maladies

First mild carpal tunnel syndrome and now GERD. Also mild. I am a mess of mild maladies. The GERD is new and it does not feel mild. (The doctor has declared I have “a very mild case”. I would hate to know what serious GERD feels like.)

So I need to change my lifestyle…I must avoid:

  • acidic foods (okay, this I can do)
  • alcoholic beverages (no drinks?!)
  • caffeinated beverages (no coffee?!)
  • chocolate (okay, I don’t really like chocolate anyway)
  • onions and garlic (and food will be tasty in what universe?!)
  • peppermint (fine, this is not one of my dietary staples)

For dinner I had a lovely spicy chicken and rice dish with lots of onions and peppers. Now I am in agony. I know I should not have eaten this. I know it but I am pissed off that I have to watch what I eat in order to avoid pain. Life is pain dammit. I am not supposed to eat large (or fatty) meals and I am not supposed to lie down for 3 to 4 hours after eating. I can do this part at least. In fact, I have and I have lost some weight too. But I am still unhappy about this. Very unhappy.

Right now I am trying a proton pump inhibitor — whoo whee! Prevacid is my new friend. They say that proton pump inhibitors are very effective and relieve symptoms in almost everyone who has GERD. I am still waiting…did I mention I am in pain at this very moment due to a chicken dish?

In an hour or so I will be off to bed. I am thinking about this not because I am sleepy (I am wide awake and in pain) but because I am supposed to buy a special GERD wedge pillow designed to elevate my torso to prevent acid from burning the lining of my esophagus.

Fun times. Perhaps I can keep wedge pillow beside the unsightly wrist braces I keep on my side table. I am supposed to wear those things while I slumber in order to avoid waking up with both my hands asleep. Very sexy items those wrist braces.

So very soon I will be sleeping on a wedge with my wrists sheathed in beige braces.

Oh man, I am such a hot chick these days.


  1. Wait until you also have to wear a mouth guard every night so you don’t grind your teeth into dust …
    Welcome to middle age, my friend!

  2. Thank you for the warm welcome Judy! Please share some of the joys I can look forward to as well. I need some joy as we head into the dinner hour. What shall I have? Some dry toast perhaps.

  3. Yes, I saw them in black and beige. I went with the beige. There were no hip colours, however…well black is hip, I guess. And yet I picked the beige ones for some reason. Wearing those things makes me feel ‘beige’ I suppose.

  4. Pingback: » spicy spot

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