Category: Life

A few nights ago I had a dream that I had hair growing on the insides of my elbows. I don’t subscribe to dream analysis theories or anything New Age-ish. And my dreams are usually the more typical stress-related type — I’m late for a meeting, I can’t find my keys, all my teeth fall out — that sort of thing. Not usually body hair related.

I was oddly troubled by this. Hair on the insides of my elbows? I know I’m rapidly approaching 40 and some new little hairs are to be expected — but not there. Or at least not from the books I’ve read!

So what could this mean? My guess was fear of aging. (Not that I have this one at the moment — lately it is just elevators.)

But a little online research and I have my answer. To get right down to it, seeing hair in a dream “signifies sexual virility, seduction, sensuality, vanity, and health.” So my hair dream was about vo-dee-oh-do-doh? Good lord, times are getting weird if sudden and unexplained hirsuteness means sexy in someone’s book.

Lately I have been fearful of elevators. It’s not a phobia yet but I think I’m on my way. I’ve never liked elevating devices but I’m somewhat comforted by the several safety features and mechanisms hidden above the car. Yet the discomfort grows.

“Statistically, it’s a safe ride,” says Ray Lapierre, executive director of the Elevator Escalator Safety Foundation. Out of an estimated 120 billion rides per year, about 10,000 people end up in the emergency room because of elevator-related accidents. Their injuries are most often caused by tripping or being hit by closing doors. In some cases, accidents have occurred when the doors opened onto an empty shaft. As for the odds of getting stuck in an elevator: they’re about once in a lifetime for the average person using elevators on a daily basis. Still nervous?

Hell, yeah.

What you don’t see in the picture is me hanging on to the bar along the side for dear life. I know that being hoisted several storeys into the air by thin wire cables is perfectly safe yet I have been climbing a lot of stairs this week. One jumpy and noisy elevator at work and I lose my mind.

I am also afraid of escalators.

But moving sidewalks are a-ok.