Category: Life

One of my hearing aids conked out last night. The other one seems to be performing very poorly. They’re five years old and that’s about how long they last.

Not very long perhaps for things that cost as much as these babies do but they’re very delicate digital instuments and quality does not come cheap.

How much? About the same price as a Valentino Buffalo Satchel — also quality and also not cheap.

Of course, I’d need two — both ears are flawed — so add several pairs of new True Religion jeans to the tally.

I love shopping but not this kind. These new items won’t even be visible to admirers as they’ll sit inside my ear canal. But I need these things more than any new purse or pair of shoes. (To be clear, I need new shoes and purses too — just not as much).

Today at work I was not my usual self as I could barely hear. Plus, my eyes were aching all day from the exercises last night. By about 11 in the morning, I could barely focus on my computer and I needed to take frequent breaks in the afternoon to look in the distance. I also walked around a lot and tried to relax my eyes.

Yeah, a day where I could not see well up close and could not hear well unless I was up close. Fun times.

I’m really starting to dread getting older … and I’ve made a new pledge to take better care of myself. And if that means treating myself to some new footware, so be it.

The sex and drugs will have to wait until Sunday. I have to go to a wedding tomorrow. Didn’t I just write about a wedding last week? I can’t wait to chat to all the nosey relatives. I’m kidding of course, the Macedonian are a very aloof people. No one will ask me about my ovaries. Mind you, I’m not too worried about untoward comments as my shoes don’t match my purse (no, really!) … they’ll be too startled by that to form any questions.

I have to wear 3D glasses — one blue lens and one red lens — when I do my eye exercises. This alone is very amusing. It feels very 50s drive-in.

I did the first session today. It was not that bad but it’s quite obvious the blue eye (left) is worse than the red one. I did not get a headache afterwards nor was I exhausted — which makes me think I can do this at work over my lunch or during a break (it takes about 15 minutes). The strange glasses and flipper lenses might garner some questions, however!

I asked the vision training technician today about why I have this condition. As I suspected, I was born with weak eye muscles and eyestrain (a lot of near tasks) had made it worse to the point where it bothers me.

Specifically, I have trouble with my binocular vision (vision in which both eyes are used synchronously to produce a single image). She said that if left untreated, the weak eye would get so bad that the brain would start to ignore signals from it. It still would have all the proper components to gather and transmit focused retinal images to the brain, yet these images wouldn’t be used. I have no idea what this means in practice and I don’t plan to find out!

Okay, that’s it. I am not going to dwell on this latest ailment any more. Tomorrow, I will talk about sex, drugs and rock and roll. Well, not really — that would be out of character — but I will be talking about fashion, things that bother me and my commute to and from the workplace — among other somewhat G-rated topics.